Around the world in a number of days: Naruto style
by cut.class.not.frogs
Summary: what happens when Ten Ten owns an invisble boat. Neji's a nerd. Hinata's a cheerleader. Orochimaru thinks he's Jesus .Naruto is stupid. Sakura...is herself. and Kiba is a gospel singer. RANDOMNESS! gets better as it goes along. OOC. R&R! no flames pleas
1. we're where?

Around the world in however many days they feel like it: Naruto style!

Cha!  
sorry...

so me (cut.class.not.frogs) and my friend (Kakashi is meh hero) have a ton of inside jokes and so all this stuff that we wrote actually happened or we talked about it in some class...mostly history. XD

so yeah. the charecters are OOC.  
but come on...do u want to laugh or not?

Disclaimer: I (we) do not own Naruto. McDonalds. Lake Erie. Bill Nye the science guy...or any of that other stuff. kapeesh?  
but Chita (cut.class.not.frogs) does own her invisible boat.

and oh yeah mind with us please. we're writing this at 2:13 to be exact in the morning.  
so yeah. and dont worry. it'll get funnier when the chapters go on. TRUST Me. XD

Chapter 1: Lake Erie? (last time i checked, we were in Japan)

"We're where!?" Sakura screamed as the other charecters looked dumbfounded and Naruto grinned like an idiot because he just figuired out the sky was blue.

"...Lake Erie...near Ohio." (a/n: i think...we dont pay attention in history...we talk. and eat fudge and lollipops. and i try to be Shino. XD)

"What!? Isnt that where all the people died...because...its like a triangle or something!?" She asked still screaming.

"Thats the Bermuda triangle you artard!" Kakashi said rolling his eyes...cough his eye. He's been practicing in the mirror.

"AHHH! IT IS A TRIANGLE!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed running around in ovals while everyone else sighed.

"I knew we should have hired One Peice to do this for us." Sasuke said in a monotone voice.

"Eeeew!" Shino said cowering and pointing a finger in the wrong direction because he was blind or something.

"Well...they're cheap." Sasuke said and walked away.

"So...what do we do?" Kakashi asked, rolling his eyes again for fun.

"arrrg! im a pirate!" Ten Ten said popping out of nowhere.

"TEN TEN, NO IS NOT THE TIME!!!" Everyone yelled.

"LETS GO TO THE I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN PARTY!!" Ten Ten then yelled back, quite randomly. (a/n: I LUV EDWARD CULLEN! 3 ok fine...we...love edward cullen rolls eyes oh cut.class.not.frogs is Ten Ten and Kakashi is meh hero is...take a guess? Kakashi. however did you know?)

So yeah, they're all stuck on a crappy little boat in the middle of Lake Erie with Kakashi rolling his eyes, Ten Ten ranting, Sakura running around in ovals, Shino trying to perform an excorsism on Kiba, Gaara baking cookies, Sasuke eyeing the butter knife strangely, Shikamaru in the crows nest, and Ino pretending to be Ms. Tetra (a/n: From the Windwaker :D), and Naruto still grinning at his recent discovery, and Neji and everyone else was...sleeping...yeah. sure.

Jooooy...

"LAND HO!" Shikamaru cried in a fake british accent from the crow's nest.

"Dont call me a ho!" Sakura screamed back.

"The truth hurts." Gaara said smelling the cookies and attacking the oven.

"No...look!" He said pointing at a random McDonalds on the beach.

So they all rowed away singing happy pirate songs to McDonalds. As soon as they got there, they payed Kakashi seventy six cents to order for them and then hit the play place. (a/n: our fave part of McDonalds...lol XD)

As soon as Sasuke got on he climbed on the shortest slide he saw and started screaming:

"IM GOING TO DO IT! IM GOING TO JUMP!!" He threatned. Everyone looked up and just shrugged.

"NO SERIOUSLY I WILL THIS TIME!"

Ten Ten just continued rowing her invisible boat on the carpet while Kakashi tried to hold back Gaara from eating the McDonalds guy because he smelled like cookies.

"I SERIOUSLY AM IN-" He was cut off shortly by Ino who pushed him off the slide because she wanted to slide down the slide.

"WAAAH!!! I GOT AN OUCHIE ON MY KNEE! WAAAH!" Sasuke started crying and rolling around on the ground. (a/n: oh the images...XD)

"AAHHH! YOU CRASHED MY INVISIBLE BOAT!" Ten Ten said slapping him and crawling away to another spot on the carpet and started rowing her invisible boat again.

"FOOOOODDDSSS REEEAAADDDYYY!" Kakashi sang like an opera singer. (a/n: haha! kakashi is meh hero just tried to imitate that.  
XDXDXDXD lol!)

"GRADSFSNFSDFJ" Gaara sang back while trying not to eat any customers. (a/n: AAH! I JUST DELETED IT ALL...but i got it back.  
hee hee XD. now try singing what Gaara just said...AND GRR! I JUST DELETED IT AGAIN! but its back...jeez XD)

So everyone prayed followed by Naruto and Kiba who sang like a gospel singer in the background. (A/n: Kakashi is meh hero just tried singing it again!! HAHAHA! she's gonna give the house a wake up call...XD)

"AAAMMMENNNN!" Kiba sang. (a/n: im not even gonna say anything...i wish u cud hear her sing...XD)

"Shut up Kiba! you were singing your high note so long you didnt notice we already finished eating!" They all screamed at him.

"well..." He started.

"THE LORD WILL FORGIVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU YELL AT YOUR BEST FRIENDS. JESUS NEVER YELLED AT THE TWELVE DISCIPLES WHEN THEY ATE THE LAST CHICKEN NUGGET AND NEVER GAVE HIM ANY KETCHUP TO GO WITH HIS FRIES!!" Kiba sang. (a/n : HAHAHA! U SHUD HAVE SERIOUSLY HEARD THAT...SHE JUST SANG THIS!!!!)

so yeah. sorry if it sucked.  
its late and we have to wake up early.  
and SHE WONT STOP SINGING!! AHH! IM GOING TO HAVE TO SLAP HER!  
haha.

please review and NO FLAMES!  
people telling you u suck...takes that fuzzy feeling away.  
so yeah. thanks :D

-Chita and her gospel singing pal...i'll call her Gilligan. XD

PREVIEW FOR CHAPTER TWO: THE HYYUGAS HAVE A POOL!?

"Inertia is a property of matter." Neji said like a geek.

"Can i pick up anything at the store for you Hinata"  
"B TO THE A...TO THE T T E R I E S." (like fergalicious XD)

"when Ten Ten jumps in the pool her bathing suit rides u- i mean waves carry on in a circular motion." Neji said scientifically with his finger in the air."

"THIS IS A GOOD DAY! TIME TO CRACK OUT THE BILL NYE VIDEOS, GRAHM CRACKERS AND FLAVORED WATER!"

we'll post it soon. dont worry. :D 


	2. Hyuuga mansion

**sorry for updating so late but Kakashi is meh hero's grandpa died...**

**so yeah.**

**well i just had a full throttle and...**

**im running out of things to say...**

**so PLEASE REVIEW.**

**OR IM GOING TO PUNCH A WALL.**

**JKFDSFJDSF**

**Disclaimer: i solemly swear we do no NOT own Naruto...but my dad does!! **

**haha. my dad's Kakashi. really...dont ask.**

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After getting kicked out of McDonalds for praying in public which was politically incorrect, they decided to go to the Hyuuga's house which was conviently close and right next to the mental asylum. irony. Hinata Hyuuga was the coolest girl in school and the head cheerleader and Neji Hyuuga was in the Geek Squad, the head of the chess team, president of the Bill Nye Fan Club, leader of mathletes, five years champion of the spelling bee, president, vice president, secretary, and treasurer of the student council, and he was also in the book club.

"Hinata im going to the store, would you like me to get anything for you?" Mr. Hyuuga said, but you can call him 'Hinata's dad' because her little sister doesnt matter anymore, she was always chasing boys around anyways.

"B to the A to the T-T-E-R-I-E-S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hinata yelled into her megaphone and was so proud of herself for spelling it correctly, unlike Neji she was not gifted in the art of spelling.

"Can you get me some more rice cakes, and a hawaiin shirt for the dance." Neji asked in a geeky voice and went back to his coloring book.

"Eeeew! Loser. We're gonna pretend we're not cousins ok?? IM GONNA GO WITH NARUTO UZAMAKI! N to the O i mean A to R-U-T-O!!", She said smiling, "IM NOT EVEN GOING TO ATTEMPT SPELLING HIS LAST NAME!" She screamed doing a whole bunch of flips in the house and running into the prize Hyuuga vase that was given to them by Paris Hilton herself.

"THATS MY GIRL!!!!!!" Her dad yelled taking out his silver and red pom poms and waving them in the air before leaving to go to Wal-Mart.

Right after he left there was a knock on the door.

"HINATA! I'VE COME TO KIDNAP YOU!!" Yelled an extremely loud hpyeractive ninja. Guess who?

"Yay. There is a God." Neji said in a geeky, monotone voice.

Hinata somersaulted to the door knocked over another prized Hyuuga vase given to them by Hillary Duff and opened the door and let everyone in. (Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Ten Ten...and so on)

"Like omigawd lets go swimming!!" Sakura said, who happened to be a cheerleader as she is in all the other fan fics.

"Ok!" Everyone ripped off their clothes and they magically had swimsuits underneath them and jumped into the gigantic pool that resembled an orange, because oranges are round and the pool was round.

"We need someone to spin the hottub!!" Sakura screamed into her microphone that magically appeared.

"Hey someone call Kakashi!!" Ino said smushing random grapes to make wine with her head and then she got a headache so she poked it with her three random earrings on her shirt. (a/n: have you noticed how weird that looks?)

"Why?" Naruto asked, "I can spin it..." He added.

"NO. Kakashi can spin it with his eyes." Ten Ten screamed rather loudly and then Neji's squarish...circleish head popped out of his window, lightly brushing the lavender curtains that hung there and his chin knocked down a plant that he named Bill Nye and it fell on Sasuke's head while he was in the middle of eating roses.

"DOOONT TOUCH MY ROSES!" Hinata's dad yelled rather dramatically. Everyone froze and looked at him. He returned from the store faster than they thought.

"...SORRY DADDY!" Hinata said quietly. keyword QUIETLY.

"No worries pumpkin, i just had to make a dramatic entrance." He said before ripping off his weird looking robe from Abercrombie and Kunais and was in a black speedo that said "I LOVE GEORGE WASHINGTON" on the butt.

Everyone almost drowned to death except Hinata and Neji who were used to this forward behavior.

Suddenly everything quiet and rather awkward silence and then they heard the Bill Nye song coming from Neji's safari and garden themed room.

"BILL NYE! YOUR MOM'S A GUY!" He sang off key and like a geek.

...more awkward silence.

"BILL NYE! BILL BILL BILL BILL!" Neji continued singing and dancing like Shakira on crack with a torch in his hand as he laid next to his collection of Bill Nye action figuires (dolls) and his tiger plushie named Shaniqua.

"NEJI!! DONT MAKE ME GET MY GHETTO BOOTIE UP THE LONG STAIRS AND INTO YOUR GAY ROOM THAT SMELLS LIKE MONKEY FART AND WHOOP YO' GIRLY ASS!" (a/n: OOC)

"Yesaroo ma'am." Neji said before delicately closing his windows and smashing his fingers that look like gigantic pumpkins now due to the swelling and went back to studying for a test in Home Ec that you werent supposed to study for because it wasnt a test and drinking his lemon flavored water. Neji loves lemons. (a/n: jdas;dasjfds GROSSSSS.)

After this strange conversation some people started playing volleyball in the pool. The team names were "Diva Chicks" which consisted of Sai, Kakashi, Naruto, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, and Kiba and Akamaru who was floating on a pool float with glasses and a lemonaide in his hand...paw. The other team was "girly girls of Konaha" which consisted of Sasuke, Itachi

"WHAT THE H-E- DOUBLE HOCKEYSTICKS ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Sasuke asked Itachi.

"I love you." Was his answer, so they let him play volleyball.

anyways the team consisted of Sasuke, Itachi, annnd thats it actually. They were the girly girls of Konoha. ouch. irony.

The girls were trying to see who could smash pumpkins the fastest blindfolded with their heads. Sakura won since she had just she gigantic forhead, bigger than Tsunade's boobs, which is pretty hard. But she was the prettiest of them all...as told by the other fan fictions.

"Inertia is a property of matter." Neji suddenly said as he appeared outside wearing his mom's wedding dress and a Destiny tube top. It was all he had left of his father. ( )

"Eew." The girls exclaimed and they were BLINDFOLDED.

"Hey guys." Neji said with his finger in the air, "Ten Ten go ahead." At that moment Ten Ten jumps into the pool and crashes into the volleyball net and doesnt hit the water at all.

"Damn." She exclaimed all tangled into the net like a fishie.

"So as you observed, when Ten Ten jumps into the pool her bathing suit rides up- I MEAN the water swirls around causing dynamic motion." (a/n: we have no idea what that means)

"..."

Neji coughed.

"Anyways the wind is blowing East and that means its going to rain cats and dogs. hee hee hee hee hee cough hack cough hehehe." Neji stated the fact and just then it started raining cats and dogs and maybe little bunnies too. literally.

"Aw Chickenpoo we better head inside." Hinata's dad said grabbing a "Barbie wants to be me" beach towel and walking inside with everyone else. And just as everyone walked in they were automatically dressed in 70's clothes with bell bottoms and platform and giant fros except for Neji who was put into a hideous teal and lavender dress with squares and chunky buttons and ruffles on the shoulders.

"Aww...door i hate it when you do that!" He said to the door. Everybody laughed.

"Its not funny door! Dont do it again ok?" At that moment the door started laughing hysterically and Neji stood there and tried to hit the door with his palms but he got glass splinters instead.

"Anyways its raining too hard for you guys to leave, so you can stay the night here." Hinata's dad said swinging on the disco ball that came out of the ceiling, but then it broke into a million peices and lets just say Neji had a collection of glass splinters now.

"Neji show them to their rooms." Hinatas dad demanded and went to the kitchen to eat a slim fast and and some celery sticks.

**In the Hyuuga mansion hallways.**

"Ummm...does this hallways have to be so creepy?" Sakura exclaimed looking at all the posters. One of them said:

**"Hinata's dad wants you to get married...and have children...ninja children"**

Another picture had him posing with George Washing and blowing a kiss to the camera while George Washington looked all hot with his jean mini skirt, pink tanktop, fishnets and his one tooth that was made out of a hippo...or something like that. The picture next to that had Hinata running a kid over while learning how to drive and she was smiling. The picture opposite to that in their last year Halloween picture with Hinata's dad as a playboy bunny, Hanabi as a fish, Hinata's mom as Frankenstein, Hinata as a dead cheerleader and Neji as a pumpkin.

As they walked further down the hallway the pictures got creepier. There was a picture of Hanabi making out with a pudding cup, Hinata's dad eating curry while her mom had a knife up to his head, and Hanabi was making out with a fruit cup.

"...I see your cousin likes cups." Naruto said.

"Yes, isnt it cute?" Neji asked and everyone just stared blankly at him.

"Yes cute...thats what you call it." Kakashi added staring at a picture of Hinata strangling a kid at the beach because he had her pom pom in his hand and Hanabi was in the background holding a fish and trying to make out with a sea shell.

"Okay...Ino, Sakura, and Ten Ten, this is your room." Neji said opening the door and a whole bunch of cherry blossoms blew out and made a huge pile in the hallway.

"This room is the cherry blossom room." He stated the obvious. Ino, Sakura and Ten Ten walked in and closed to door only to be knee deep in cherry blossoms. Inside there was a bed with cherry blossom sheets and a picture of Hinata's mom trying to drown Hanabi with Neji in the background with a peace sign and some geeky green shorts and rainbow suspenders.

"...I just dropped 1 out of my 7 earrings", Ino said looking at the floor, "Im not even going to look for it now."

**Back to the hallway**

"Okay Kiba, Shino, Lee, and Naruto this room's yours." Neji said smiling while everyone else cowered in fear in what this room might bring.

"We call this room Farmer Joe...or well i do. So have a howdydoodle good stay! yee haw!" Neji said shoving them in the room and closing the door, before the animals came out.

The animal room was covered in manuer and hay and had random pigs, cows, horses, chicken, and green bean cans all over the place. There wasnt even a bed.

"But i have a fear of chickens!" Naruto said tripping over the hay. "THEY KILLED MY MAMA!"

"...You had a mom?" Kiba asked while setting his clothes and Akamaru down by a chicken and Akamaru tried to eat it.

"So i guess we have to sleep on the hay?" Shino said poking the hay.

"IT'LL BE FUN! I CALL SHARING A HAYSTACK WITH NARUTO!" Lee said.

"...Great."

**BACK to the hallway...yet again.**

"Okay Itachi and Sasuke, you get this room." Neji said and opened a sparkly pink door with clashed with all the other white doors.

They walked in and saw it was all pink.

"OHMYGOD IS THAT AN EASY BAKE OVEN!?" Itachi screamed putting on his flower gloves and apron and reading the instruction on how to make a blueberry muffin backwards.

"Sorry we had to give you a girly room...we ran out of boyish rooms." Neji apoligized staring at a picture of his uncle cradling a lemon like a baby and in baby blue letters it said "ITS A BOY!"

"If you want you can stay in the cherry blossom room." He added.

"NOOOO! ITS REMINDS ME OF SAKURA!" Sasuke screamed and Itachi lost his concentration and slammed his thumb into the easy bake oven and it started baking it.

"Why does it do that?" Neji asked flatly.

"I dont know." Sasuke whispered and went to put some glitter stars by his eyes.

**BACK TO THAT STUPID HALLWAY...YET AGAIN.**

"Okay Kakashi you can stay in Hanabi's room", Neji said smiling eeirly but it made him look more like a geek if that was even possible, "She's spending the night at Kisame's house because they both share a love for fish."

"..."

"Okay here it is!" Neji said opening the door only to reveal rotten fish all over the floor, a huge bed with fruit cups and pudding cups scattered all over the place, a wall full of creepy family pictures, and an Orlando Bloom poster with bright red lipstick marks all over it and a bookshelf full of "How to be a princess" books.

"...Is there any other rooms?" Kakashi pleaded.

"Well", Neji said while moving in closer, "There is...Hinata's stove room."

"Stove room?"

"But the last person that stayed in there got third degree burns from the fire on the bed." Neji said seriously.

"I'LL TAKE IT!" Kakshi said jumping up in joy. Boy would he have a regret it.

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**Preview for chapter 3**

"Ummm...can you stop touching my leg?"

"Sorry...its just it always puts Hinata to sleep when i do that."

"OMIGOD HANABI I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE!!!"

"Who wants to look at the family photo album?"

"Ten Ten...stop rolling on the floor."

"Oww...i found your earring."

**Okay so we finally finished. haha.**

**what a creepy chapter.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

**and no flames.**

**-Chita and her gospel singing buddy Gilligan**


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